i love sharing my thoughts with someone

i love listening to someone else's ideas

i love discourse

i love smiling

i love poetry
i love writing
i love reading
i love philosophizing


i love holding hands
i love running my cold hands under warm water
i love seeing children loved by their parents
i love seeing children love their parents
i love a firm handshake
i love staring into the eyes of the person i love
i love listening to my brother play the sax
i love listening to my brother talk about his past
i love listening to my brother when he is silent
i love getting a thank you from someone after helping them
i love your eyes
i love education
i love listening to your problems
and giving you answers
i love listening to your problems
and offering you nothing
i love to be caressed and touched
if for seconds
i love to caress and touch
if for seconds
i love the shadows cast by objects in my bedroom when the sun sets
i love the sun
i love the moon and the stars
when 99.9% of people ignore them by never looking up
thats means more for me . . . i got dibs on alpha centauri
i love old skool rap
beatnuts, tribe, O.C., souls of mischief, madlib, illmatic, the roots, common, black moon, cypress hill, nwa, jeru, biz markie, kurious jorge, public enemy, lords of tha underground, ogc, smif n wessun, wu tang, peterock and cl smooth, mosdef, binary star, mobb deep, lone catalysts, talib, ed og, jay dilla, no id, 8off, native tounge family, DITC, onyx, little brother, eric b and rakim, snoop, keith murray, raekwon, masta ace, rock steady crew, big daddy kane, geto boys, the ed lover dance, alkaholiks, lootpack, bone thugz, bushwick bill, etc. . . .
i love fucking
i love sex
i love making love to the woman that i love
i love having orgasms
i love giving her orgasms
the trees lose all their leaves in the winter and i still love them
when my father had cancer a year ago and his hair fell off, i held him in my arms and we cried and we cried and i loved him regardless as i do today.
i love peanut butter (crunchy) and jelly sandwiches
i love dancing
i love drinking with a good friend
i love stumbling over a chair and falling to the ground to only have my drunken friend fall right next to me and we laugh, we laugh
. . . . . and get a bad hangover the next day
i love falling into snow a foot deep with the women i love in my arms and feel the cold of the snow glowing against our faces, the warmth of kissing melting the frost on our lips
i love mi mama, y mi hermano y mi hermana que nunca nacio, mis amigos, mis abuelos que casi los conoci, mi familia en Chile, mi mismo
i love standing in a thunderstorm, arms stretched to the sky, eyes jetting upwards
raindrops falling on my tongue are never enough to quench my thirst
and i remember getting wet under rainclouds
getting wet under rainclouds
i am not afraid
to remember under rainclouds
. . . . of love, of raindrops falling on my tongue

on this cold and windy night i set out to write this. nothing in particular was established when i sat down to write this, and so what becomes of this session is left to chance and of course the whims of my heart.
towards the end of this past week i sat in the park with my friend from work under a cloudy and rather damp day. thinking back, i believe it was this past friday. Nevertheless. . .

a new person started working at our job and i asked my friend what she thought of this new person and her response was something that struck me and has been recycled over and over again in my mind. She said to me, "i like her, i found her to be more human then the rest (of our co-workers). . . ." so its a simple comment, but if we think it through it has tremendous depth and has infinite value as social commentary of modern society and of the modern human condition. She found her more human then others. this i found fascinating in the context of my thought about the artifical human construct that has been assembled in a society that is attempting to make us less human. Get this, the main reason why we go the movies is because of the human emotions that movies are able to make us feel. Fear, sadness, anger, joy, tenderness, an understanding of another persons situation . . . . but these are all emotions that we experience without actually interacting with another human. It is to say, we pay $10, we are plugged into some outlet like robots, and made to feel human. We pay $10 to be made to feel human. To experience what it is to be human. But i argue that this is another artificial construct since we are experiencing these things in a vacuum, in isolation. Because we lack so many of these emotions in our structured, mundane lives, we need some way of reminding our "souls" that we are humans, emotional and "spiritual" beings (i place souls and spiritual in quotes to denote the fact that, regardless of how i dismiss spiritually, i cannot negate its existence as a real phenomenon of human society).

i have another coworker who i sometimes (though not often) also go to the park with. He is from China and enjoys debating ethics and we often engage in philosophical discussion. A few weeks ago, we sat in this park on a fresh sunny afternoon during our lunch break and i proposed to him a question, "do you believe in destiny?" knowing his reasoning i was surprised by his response when he remarked in an exclamatory manner, "of course i believe in destiny !" at this point i was expecting the usual rant of how we are all put on this earth for a reason and that this purpose falls in line with destiny and etc. But chuckling he grins, "Erick, of course i believe in destiny. We all have the same destiny. The exact same destiny. We are all going to die !"
i found this engenous. My dear reader, you may not, but i found this quite comical.
Well not getting into it much further, because i know that you as my reader do not have the time to spare, and i don't either (at least i would like you to think so) . . . . i will say, that although we agreed on this, we have very different philosophical views on life. He is of the thought that nothing really matters, that humans are so insignificant in the universe and that any day we could all disappear and the entire human race and all its history could be wiped out forever (lets say by an asteroid) that really nothing matters in the end. to this perspective i argue that the present is important. i say to this extent that if nothing matters, then why not try to lessen human suffering while this meaningless existence is played out because the present is real and tangible. in defiance i raise my fist and exclaim, "so be it, let the image of me lending my hands to my brothers and sisters, helping them to their feet, be burned into the horizon of the last day for all to see ! ! ! "