dark rooms are never lonely. every day i change. it is now close to midnight and i am not the same person i was at 8am this morning and tomorrow when i awaken i will not be the same person i was when i closed my eyes. i change according to my life experiences and dreams that burn and are extinguished and are lite again. i sang to a girl today as her eyelashes began to flutter with embarrassment, so fast that she began to float and like a balloon the winds carried her, up and up until i melted. i sat at my beds edge before i began to write this and thought, pondered for a while, just a while and stared in the mirror. Mirrors give so much of themselves. Mirrors are truly the epicenter of selflessness. if a mirror would just stop giving so much to everyone perhaps it could catch a glimpse of its own reflection, its own self. i sometimes lay down on my bed and feel so much about the great sadness that is yet to come in my life and the great happiness that also awaits. i will admit that it scares me because of the tranquility and tragedy that i experience constantly from just the past . . . . sadness, madness . . . . . reality, fantasy. i often feel like a stranger to everything around me, including myself.. . . .and mirrors. a fish trying to swim in the desert sand, a bird attempting to fly underground. i saw a tiny spider while i was taking a shower this morning walk delicately up the bathroom tile trying to escape the splashes of water from my shower that must have seemed barbaric. shielding her from the water crashing all around i placed this tiny spider on my fingertip and gently placed her on my bathroom sink behind a small box. she smiled at me and i frowned back at her all wet and tired. i would like to think that she felt some form of comfort to have escaped. so much to say, so much to say . . .how much i want things to be different . . . but i only help myself and little spiders in my bathroom, their webs flickering with the slightest of whispers and insects. . .