waking at night to only be in another dream.

everything dark aside from a pair of eyes staring back at me.

from the shape of the eyes i could tell they were going from joy to sadness, happiness to sorrow, squinting to tears.

i held my hand out to those eyes, but felt nothing and heard nothing.

The air was stagnant and dry.

i stood up to open the window just a crack to allow frigid winter air in.

at that moment i woke up to another dream surrounded again by darkness and those eyes staring back at me.

but this time those eyes stared back at me with a longing, a longing to be desired, a longing to be heard, a longing to be loved.

i spoke and the silence provided the answer because those eyes could not answer me.

i held myself close that night, well tucked under my bed sheets and turned my head to the cold side of the pillow and to fall asleep again and wake up to another dream.

now these eyes lay next to me in my bed, staring at me, but with fright, whimpering and sobbing.

tears ran down the ravines of the pillowcase that my head had created.

i held it close to me that night and quieted its crying. i did my best to share my love and kindness, comfort and support.

I felt a pool of tears collecting by my chin that soon sank into the mattress below me.

I fell asleep and woke again to those eyes still next to me.

They remained closed. peaceful. not moving. eyelashes like feathers on a bird, curving and undulating. "im sorry" i whispered and kissed both of those eyes that felt hard and cold as lonely can be.

nothing stirred. not a sound was made. these eyes were that of. . . . of a dead person . . . of someone without warm blood running through their veins, of someone without a beating heart . . . I do not recall if i was afraid.

i continued staring at those frigid closed eyes encased in a watery grave.

someone had laid next to me that night, to let go of something, to let go of some pain, of a sorrow longing to be released.

when i held it close, that was the precise moment when it was finally able to close those eyes and entangle those eyelashes for those eyes would never see again.

as for me. . . just another restless night of many, tossing back and forth, staring at a crack in the window beside me, waiting for the first sign of daybreak to shine down on we.